i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
