i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
