I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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