am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
