I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize