i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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