i think my mom watched the whole time
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
