Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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