have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
