for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
my liver is dry heaving
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
