Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Randomize