What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
