She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
