so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
