U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
