I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
