Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
