Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I love you. Go after that dick
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
