We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
