his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize