dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
ttyl tear gas
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
