Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
