i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize