So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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