dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
