when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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