I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
