i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize