If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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