what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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