Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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