It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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