ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
