What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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