This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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