okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
