At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
