Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
