i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
ok first of all what the fuck
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
