thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
we're so committed to being not committed
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
