I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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