I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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