Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
