I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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