fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
