Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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