your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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