im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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