he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
