dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
