She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
