working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
