I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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