I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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