We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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