Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
