She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
