he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
