I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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