i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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